How To Stay Broke Forever

How to Stay Broke Forever: The Ultimate Guide to Financial Failure

Over the years, my children and some friends have continually complained about not having money. My response has always been the same, tongue-in-cheek: it's a life choice.

If you're tired of hearing about budgeting, investing, and "building wealth," this guide is for you. Here's your foolproof plan to guarantee a lifetime of financial struggle because who needs stability when you can have chaos?

1. Spend Every Penny You Earn

Savings are overrated. The moment your paycheck drops, it's time to treat yourself to new clothes, fancy dinners, a subscription you'll forget about, the works.
And a Bonus: Use credit cards to spend money you don't even have yet. It's the broke dream come true.

2. Never Track Your Expenses

Budgets are for boring people who hate surprises. Genuine financial thrill-seekers check their account balance only when their card is declined!

3. Ignore All Financial Education

Don't learn about investing, taxes, or compound interest; that's how people accidentally become rich. Please stay in the dark where it's cosy.

4. Make Minimum Payments Forever

Paying off debt is for quitters. Keep those balances high and interest growing; it's like nurturing a money-eating pet that never dies.

5. Buy Everything New

Used cars? Thrift stores? Hand-me-downs? Absolutely not. Always buy the latest, shiniest, and most expensive version of everything. You only live once, and so does your bank account.

6. Keep Up With Everyone Else

Did your friend buy a new phone? You need two. They posted vacation photos? Better book your trip tonight. Financial ruin tastes better when it's shared.

7. Marry a Gold Digger

Why build wealth when you can marry someone only interested in spending it? Bonus points if you fight over money constantly; nothing drains finances (and joy) faster.

8. Have Children Before You're Financially Ready

Kids are adorable money vacuums. Have several before you hit 30. Daycare, diapers, and unexpected expenses will make sure your bank account never recovers.

9. Exchange All Your Time for Money

Who needs passive income when you can grind sixty hours a week for every dollar you make? Forget building systems or assets; the broke stay broke by selling their time, one exhausted hour at a time.

10. Never Build an Emergency Fund

Life happens. But that's what credit cards, payday loans, and "borrowing from friends" are for, right?

11. Avoid Investing at All Costs

Stocks, crypto, and real estate are too confusing. Just let your money rot in an account while inflation eats it alive. Safe and broke, forever.

12. Blame Everyone Else

It's not your fault you're broke. It's capitalism. It's your job. It's the government. As long as you never take responsibility, you never have to change.

13. Stay Comfortable

The ultimate secret to staying broke forever? Never grow. Never take risks. Never learn. Comfort keeps you poor, but hey, at least it's familiar.

Conclusion - The Broke Life Is a Choice (If You're Committed Enough)

If you genuinely want to stay broke forever, it's simple: keep doing all of the above.
But if you ever decide you've had enough of financial chaos, start doing the opposite: save, invest, learn, and take ownership of your money. Because "broke" might be a phase, but staying broke is a lifestyle.

The good news

Everything we do in life is a habit, and it's either good or bad. Once you recognise your habits, the good news is you can change them. On average, it takes 21 days to change a habit.

Recognising your habits is the first stage, and learning to say no to yourself and to others.

Changing your habits often means changing some of your friends or acquaintances and mixing with like-minded people.

Identify what you need, the essentials. And cut out the things you don't need, be brutal. Look at your possessions and sell what you don't use. Rule of thumb: if you haven't worn it, use it for six months, sell it, and raise some money for your new emergency fund, which you avoid touching in case of a real emergency. Lock it away in an account that you can't access without some notice, removing the temptation to buy the emergency takeaway so you don't have to cook.

On the bright side, you will save money, probably eat healthier, as you will prepare your own food for half the cost. Avoid the last few drinks you don't need, which can lead to a hangover from the previous night. Lose weight and soon be looking at a healthy bank account.

I'm not sure who said it initially, but "A change is as good as a rest" and "Save the pennies and the pounds look after themselves".

Change is not out of reach; you need to decide that you are going to do it and not to expect perfection initially.

I've known people who have gone from literally rags to riches. It's like a switch was flicked in their heads. Making their beds in the morning, getting up early, "The early bird catches the worm", quitting drinking, dressing differently, changing jobs, ditching the hangers on. They obviously figured out what they didn't want and decided to pursue new opportunities and adventures.

Life is a journey, so enjoy it. Fill your life with things you enjoy, not necessarily want. You will naturally be happier, and opportunities will flow your way.

A word of warning: be patient; new opportunities rarely happen in your time frame. But when the opportunities come, they are like buses; they all come at once.

Life gives you opportunities, but you need to act on them with integrity and discipline.

See the blog How Not To Be Broke Forever.